I'm stirred today! I have been pondering something for the past two days in which I have wrestled with for at least the past four years, ever since I have Pastored Freedom Worship Center. It's something that maybe a number of Pastor's wrestle with but don't know how to clearly communicate the struggle. I'm not sure I will be able to clearly communicate my thoughts and feelings but in the following few paragraphs I'm going to give it my best shot.
Prior to becoming a Lead Pastor, I was a traveling itnierant minister. Some called me an Evangelist, others a revivalist, my main anointing and mandate was to go from town to town to stir up the Body of Christ to pray, fast, and expect great and mighty things. I enjoyed my role and it was very clear to me - go from church to church, town to town, and stir the people up to seek God's Face and expect His Presence to manifest and fill the hungry/thirsty souls.
Not much has changed for me since pastoring. Yet, in my role as a Pastor I have felt the pressure to be more concerned about people's needs or desires than God's. I believe we are to be loving and concerned about the needs of people, don't get me wrong, yet the question that lies within me is, "Can we be so concerned about what people want and think that we miss what God may want or think?".
Yes, we are to be a loving, kind hosts to our guests that come to our churches -but what about our desire and passion to be a great host to the Presence of God? Let me qualify this last statement a bit more. 18 years ago I was depressed and bombarded with suicidal thoughts on a daily basis. I went to church faithfuly, paid my tithes/offerings, shared my faith, etc... and still I was "down in the dumps". I went to counseling, it was good, but I remained shackled and tormented with depression and the suicidal thoughts.
The church I was attending at the time hosted meetings with an Evangelist from South Africa. The meetings were non-conventional in the sense that the programatic way of "doing church" went out the door in a heart beat. People got saved, delivered, healed and others got offended and left the church. I was amongst the ones that got totally delivered and healed of a bunch of emotional baggage - Praise God!
What happened? The church became a host to the Presence of God. Most people loved it and others cringed because it wasn't what most of us were familiar with. I have discovered this about God, His character never changes, but the way He decides to move amongst His people may never be exactly the same. That's the part I love!
The question that remains with me this day is: "What if the church I attended 18 years ago decided that being a host to people was more important to being a Host of His Presence, would I be where I'm at today?". They could have shut the meetings down because they were radical, off the charts, and people were questioning whether or not this was God. Thank God for that Pastor who stood strong and allowed the Holy Spirit to move in our midst vs. allowing the opinion of man to dictate what was of God and what wasn't.
So what am I wrestling with? Since I have become a Lead Pastor I have been coached over and over how to do meetings that attract people and how to grow your church a certain way. Trust me, I have needed some of these tools and have applied them - great stuff! The struggle with me is this: When we desire to be the host of His Presence first, can some of theses other methods deter us from being led by His Spirit on a Sunday morning? Good question. I will attempt to answer that in my next blog.
Agreeing with Heaven,
Pastor Drew
